SO YOU'VE DECIDED TO TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF FOR THE PUBLIC...
This is a good thing. But there are a few things you should know before we let you shame yourself nationally. Rule #1: bare boobs and behinds = good. Rule #2: Willie Nelson = not good. What we're trying to say is bare tops and bottoms only - no crotch shots. We're not opposed to your fuzzy wuzzy, but our distributors are. Apparently, they do not want kids being able to see where they came from. This is what we like to call Republican logic. That said, here are the guidelines for submitting your buck naked self...
• You gotta be 18 or older (must provide statement of age).
• You gotta be a chick. (Sorry, chick wannabees).
• Pro shots are OK, but we like amatuer better.
• We do not discriminate - large, small, fat, skinny, young (but over 18) or old (hey MILFs - this is your chance to show everybody you still got groceries to deliver). The more diverse the better.
• Send us a few photos (hi-res JPEGs, preferably) for consideration. No Polaroids or cell phone shots - this is a quality magazine, dang it. Color pics are OK, but we're gonna print 'em in black and white. If you're going to all the trouble, try and make 'em high contrast.
• We do not pay for the use of the photos. Your compensation is the exposure (sorry, couldn't resist) and fame. Plus, you'll be way lots cooler to your friends than you are now.
• You'll also be submitted to an insightful (ahem) Q&A interview. Use your real name or a cool fake one. Wear a wig (but not over your chestral area. You can be half-dressed...but be sure you're half-naked. Most of all, just have fun and let your personality - and boobs - out. The interview is the forum for you to go nuts. And if you have a website or myspace, new CD or some kind of service, we'll promote it in your photo feature/interview as well.
• Don't sue us if you change your mind after the magazine comes out. That would just be mean.
• We don't/won't put your pictures on the web - it's for print only.
• E-mail your photos to us at: firstname.lastname@example.org
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